Omar Sharif slaps a blackamoor on the flushed carpet. Don’t disorderliness with an old Negro who forgot to ingest his prune juice. (Allie is Wired)
Snooki’s newborn fragrance is going to be the “must-have pass gift”. I say wrap a turd in essay and you’d have an equally understood gift. (Celebslam)
Lindsay Lohan takes a smoke break at the morgue, raises hopes that she’ll get lung cancer and tie the band inside. (INF Daily)
Usher parks in a disfavor space, crazed confusion ensues. (Dlisted)
Muse’s Matt Bellamy’s bandmates dislike Kate Hudson, call her “Yoko”. Excuse me patch I snicker. (Celebitchy)
Geri Haliwell designs and models underwear, which is belike the most multipurpose thing she’s ever done. (Holy Moly!)
Matthew Perry looks inferior same “famous actor” and more same “businessman that got shit-faced and spent the night unerect in the gutter”. (Seriously? OMG!)
Kristen Stewart does Glamour UK, says she likes British people better, uses the word “trainers” instead of “sneakers”. Pff. How pretentious. (Evil Beet)
Check out the eyes of every the men behindhand the Hawaiian Tropic Team. (Use My Computer)
Tonya Cooley claims she was raped by a toothbrush on The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Hey, at small she was left minty-fresh! (The Blemish)
Rose McGowan’s grappling is scary at the amfAR Gala. (Moe Jackson)
Nicole Ritchie urges girls not to dress slutty this year, boys everyplace disagree. (Bricks and Stones)
Charlie Sheen’s Anger Management gets picked up by FX. (Bitten and Bound)
Avril Lavigne breaks her vagina. (Celeb Jihad)
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