Thursday, September 29, 2011

Quickies: Fields of Gold

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You can be live with sexual assault for sabotaging your partner’s condoms. Unless you’re meet breaking them in like a good Samaritan, which is how I explained it to the judge. (Jezebel)

Anna Faris in whatever earnest fuck-me pumps on David Letterman. (Celeb Slam)

Chris Brown is smooooooth. (The Blemish)

Rihanna abandons the Northern island cereal fields and goes grubbing on the streets in her new video. (Hollywood Rag)

Mandy Moore masturbating with a cucumber. I prefer spaghetti squash myself. (G Celeb)

Kim Kardashian confronts one of her haters. I hate myself for typewriting that. See how it all comes flooded circle? (Seriously? OMG)

And speech of Kim Kardashian, surmisal who wore a see-through shirt to go bowling? One hint: she’s a giant whore. (The Grumpiest)

Chace Crawford’s hemp charges are dropped. When asked for comment, the DA said, “He’s white! What did you expect?” (Bitten & Bound)

Elisabetta Canalis might be off Dancing with the Stars for now, but these pics of her in her tiny costumes module live on forever. (Moe Jackson)

Jessica Alba explains why she titled her girl Haven instead of “Membranes” or “Amniotic Sac.” (Dlisted)

Ladies and gentleman, allow me to inform the subtleties of a good anti-joke. (Caveman Circus)

I’ve got sextet text for you: Detroit’s Booty Lounge stripper tailgating bus. Do with it what you will. (Busted Coverage)

Olivia Wilde looks intense with towheaded hair. Like Christina Applegate during her “Married with Children” days. (Use My Computer)

Ashley Tisdale in a “Toddler & Tiaras” spoof. (Pop Crunch)

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