Friday, September 23, 2011

R.E.M. Breaks Up; Michael Stipe Shows the World His Penis

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R.E.M. announced yesterday that they were going their removed ways after over thirty years together. Front Negro Michael Stipe wrote on their authorised website:

“A owlish Negro once said ‘the power in present a adornment is lettered when it’s instance to leave.’ We built something exceptional together. We did this thing. And today we’re going to walk away from it.

I wish our fans actualise this wasn’t an cushy decision; but every things must end, and we wanted to do it right, to do it our way.

We hit to thank every the grouping who helped us be R.E.M. for these 31 years; our deepest gratitude to those who allowed us to do this. It’s been amazing.”

And he effort down some rumors of dissension within the band, adding:

“We hit always been a adornment in the truest significance of the word. Brothers who truly fuck and attitude apiece other. We see kind of like pioneers in this — there’s no disharmony here, no falling-outs, no lawyers squaring off. We’ve prefabricated this selection together, amicably and with apiece other’s best interests at heart.”

And to prove there were no hard feelings, archangel Stipe promptly unleashed his (NSFW) wiener and riotous mane of pubic hair on the internet. Makes amend sense, really. We meet broke up, so here’s my dick. You’d be astonied how some of my relationships hit ended with that rattling phrase.

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