Thursday, September 22, 2011

R.E.M. Breaks Up; Michael Stipe Shows the World His Penis

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R.E.M. declared yesterday that they were feat their removed structure after over cardinal years together. Front Negro Michael Stipe wrote on their authorised website:

“A owlish Negro once said ‘the skill in present a adornment is knowing when it’s instance to leave.’ We shapely something exceptional together. We did this thing. And today we’re feat to achievement absent from it.

I hope our fans actualise this wasn’t an cushy decision; but all things must end, and we desired to do it right, to do it our way.

We hit to impart all the grouping who helped us be R.E.M. for these 31 years; our deepest gratitude to those who allowed us to do this. It’s been amazing.”

And he shot downbound some rumors of dissension within the band, adding:

“We hit ever been a adornment in the truest significance of the word. Brothers who truly fuck and attitude apiece other. We see category of like pioneers in this — there’s no dissonance here, no falling-outs, no lawyers squaring off. We’ve made this decision together, amicably and with apiece other’s best interests at heart.”

And to establish there were no hornlike feelings, Michael Stipe pronto unleashed his (NSFW) wiener and riotous mane of pubic hair on the internet. Makes amend sense, really. We meet broke up, so here’s my dick. You’d be surprised how some of my relationships hit ended with that very phrase.

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