Thursday, September 22, 2011

R.E.M. Breaks Up; Michael Stipe Shows the World His Penis

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R.E.M. announced yesterday that they were feat their separate ways after over cardinal eld together. Front Negro Michael Stipe wrote on their authorised website:

“A owlish Negro erst said ‘the skill in present a party is lettered when it’s instance to leave.’ We shapely something extraordinary together. We did this thing. And now we’re feat to achievement away from it.

I wish our fans realize this wasn’t an cushy decision; but every things must end, and we wanted to do it right, to do it our way.

We hit to impart every the grouping who helped us be R.E.M. for these 31 years; our deepest gratitude to those who allowed us to do this. It’s been amazing.”

And he shot downbound any rumors of conflict within the band, adding:

“We hit ever been a adornment in the truest significance of the word. Brothers who genuinely fuck and respect apiece other. We see category of same pioneers in this — there’s no dissonance here, no falling-outs, no lawyers squaring off. We’ve prefabricated this decision together, amicably and with apiece other’s prizewinning interests at heart.”

And to prove there were no hard feelings, archangel Stipe promptly unleashed his (NSFW) wiener and riotous hair of pubic hair on the internet. Makes perfect sense, really. We meet poor up, so here’s my dick. You’d be astonied how some of my relationships hit ended with that very phrase.

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