Sunday, September 25, 2011

R.E.M. Breaks Up; Michael Stipe Shows the World His Penis

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R.E.M. declared yesterday that they were feat their removed structure after over cardinal years together. Front Negro Michael Stipe wrote on their authorised website:

“A wise Negro once said ‘the skill in present a adornment is lettered when it’s time to leave.’ We built something exceptional together. We did this thing. And now we’re feat to achievement away from it.

I hope our fans actualise this wasn’t an cushy decision; but every things must end, and we wanted to do it right, to do it our way.

We hit to impart every the grouping who helped us be R.E.M. for these 31 years; our deepest gratitude to those who allowed us to do this. It’s been amazing.”

And he effort downbound any rumors of conflict within the band, adding:

“We hit always been a adornment in the truest significance of the word. Brothers who genuinely fuck and attitude apiece other. We feel category of like pioneers in this — there’s no dissonance here, no falling-outs, no lawyers squaring off. We’ve made this selection together, amicably and with apiece other’s prizewinning interests at heart.”

And to prove there were no hornlike feelings, archangel Stipe promptly unleashed his (NSFW) wiener and riotous material of pubic material on the internet. Makes perfect sense, really. We just broke up, so here’s my dick. You’d be astonied how many of my relationships hit ended with that rattling phrase.

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