Sunday, September 25, 2011

R.E.M. Breaks Up; Michael Stipe Shows the World His Penis

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R.E.M. declared yesterday that they were feat their removed ways after over thirty eld together. Front man Michael Stipe wrote on their authorised website:

“A owlish man once said ‘the power in present a band is lettered when it’s instance to leave.’ We shapely something exceptional together. We did this thing. And now we’re feat to walk absent from it.

I wish our fans actualise this wasn’t an cushy decision; but every things staleness end, and we desired to do it right, to do it our way.

We hit to impart every the grouping who helped us be R.E.M. for these 31 years; our deepest gratitude to those who allowed us to do this. It’s been amazing.”

And he shot down some rumors of conflict within the band, adding:

“We hit ever been a band in the truest sense of the word. Brothers who genuinely fuck and attitude apiece other. We see category of like pioneers in this — there’s no dissonance here, no falling-outs, no lawyers squaring off. We’ve made this selection together, amicably and with apiece other’s prizewinning interests at heart.”

And to establish there were no hard feelings, Michael Stipe promptly unleashed his (NSFW) wiener and tumultuous material of pubic material on the internet. Makes amend sense, really. We meet poor up, so here’s my dick. You’d be surprised how many of my relationships hit ended with that rattling phrase.

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